Super powers

I love to read books and watch movies with characters that have super powers. For whatever reason, I just like the idea that people can do "impossible" things. Or I did, at least, until I discovered that my own son has undeniable powers. I have listed a few of these below so that you can evaluate the super status of your own children.

1. Jacob can screech at exactly the right pitch and intensity to shatter eardrums. I've already gone through several pair after they've been destroyed by his siren squeals.
2. His hands are magnetically attracted to my glasses.
3. His slobber has the power to appear anywhere on his or my person.
4. Jacob has incredible strength, which he uses to pinch skin, yank chest hair, and hold onto Cheerios as though his life depends on it.
5. He can aparate out of sight instantaneously. (This ability is just beginning to manifest itself, but I'm sure it will develop quickly.)
6. His extreme cuteness can melt away any feelings of anger or animosity.
   
7. He has the ability to overpower his enemies with an incredible stench.

If your child has any of these abilities, he/she may also be a "Super." I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. If you have identified any other super abilities that your child may have, please let me know so that I can prepare myself as much as possible.